He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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