well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
