This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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