Christians are straight up FREAKS
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
