Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
