Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
