Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
