I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
