my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
