In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
