i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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