You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
