You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
