I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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