get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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