No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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