it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
