I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
