On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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