he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
