Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
