In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
