That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
