If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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