Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
