Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize