First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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