There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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