Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
