I love black thongs
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize