worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
