Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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