do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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