Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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