Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
