So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
