Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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