I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
