Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
