this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
