dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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