I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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