I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
