I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
