I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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