I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
