Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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