Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
