Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
