tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Randomize