is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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