she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
