Whod you bang
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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