Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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