So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
