Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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