Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize