I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Floor bacon is actually really good
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
