When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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