We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize