Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
